microshore

Find the 4 leaf clover

2005-09-02T13:22:00.000Z

Ridiculously hard and stupid flash game:

No, I don't like it

Paul Daniels' Blog!

2005-09-02T13:13:00.000Z

It's him.

"[This blog] was not meant for disgusting and revolting thickos. If such people want to write, by all means do so, but be aware that I won't be reading the rubbish any more."

Not a lot!

Goths vs. Chavs

2005-09-01T14:57:00.000Z

A novel approach to settling gang warfare. Though I think car park fighting with nun chuckas and knives would be more fun, and ultimately for the winners, more rewarding.

""It's like football," said Denise Mee, another street warden. "You pick which team you belong to. But ultimately the chavs and the goths are the same sort of people." Quite.

Round 1, fight!

Mr. Bronson is dead

2005-08-31T13:04:00.000Z

Actor Michael Sheard is dead:

YOU, BOY!

Lookalikes

2005-08-30T13:43:00.000Z

This email sent to alistlookalikes.co.uk:

--------------------------
Hi,

a friend of mine has recently decided he has the ability to do a George
Michael impression from his 'Faith' days.

I have attached a photo.

What do you think?

Many thanks

Chris Moore

--------------------------

and the reply:

--------------------------

Hi Chris,

We require 4 photos him him dressed, made up and posing as much like George
as possible, so we can get a good feel for his suitability for our agency
and we will take it from there.

Many thanks

Dxxxxe Wxxxxn
DIRECTOR
--------------------------

So lets see if we can get Danny a job as a lookalike.

Fingers crossed

Fantasy

2005-08-30T08:35:00.000Z

Well the new season is underway and that means a new season too of Fantasy Football.

After week 1 here are the standings:

1 chris walder whatever 14
2 Chris Moore Do the Lynddie 13
3 Al Dunne Cock Rashes 11
4 Robin Harris Otto Bismarck's barmy army 10
5 joe cannings ShockandAwe 10
6 Matt Stevens Best Spam UTD 9
7 Daniel Rolfe Eees okay 9

Flying high so far but there's a long way to go.

Whatever.

Good free photo gallery

2005-08-27T11:09:00.000Z

Looks good - 2 gig allowance

Zoto

Nappy Man

2005-08-23T12:05:00.000Z

Freaky, but funny:

Sky News

High Speed Video Links

2005-08-17T12:52:00.000Z

Pictures of balloons bursting, glass dropping on a mouse trap, popcorn popping and other interesting stuff (if you're sad).

Wow, it blew my small mind.

Bad Gas

2005-08-16T09:07:00.000Z

Lots of time wasting here:

yummy

p.s. Doing a Lynddie is particularly good/in poor taste...

Christopher Walken for President?

2005-08-15T16:13:00.000Z

Is this even real?

Jeez louise

Fantasy Football

2005-08-15T13:39:00.000Z

BBC's Fantasy football has moved to Channel4. Sign up for it now and lets get it on.

It starts on August 17th.

You're relegated

Pablo

2005-08-15T10:20:00.000Z

By way of my lovely girlfriend check out Pablo Francisco on the Jay Leno show. I laughed my ass off Wayne.

Oh, and I saw Dejan Stankovic (the Serbian football captain) at Belgrade airport yesterday. The papparazzi were following him around. I was gonna get him to sign my passport but changed my mind.

Get Down!

Insulting Debit Card

2005-08-03T16:04:00.000Z

Guy takes offence at debit card practical joke....

hehe

How to Whistle

2005-08-03T11:22:00.000Z

From tinymixtapes, how to do a full volume piercing whistle:

1. Tuck away your lips
First, your upper and lower lips must reach over to cover your teeth and be tucked into your mouth. Only the outer edges of your lips are visible, if at all.

2. Choose your finger combination
The role of fingers is to keep the lips in place over the teeth. Experiment with different thumb and index/middle-finger combinations to discover which works best for you, depending on the size of your fingers and mouth. Regardless of your choice of fingers, their placement is the same: each are placed roughly halfway between the corners and center of lips, inserted to the first knuckle. (Again, this will vary depending on the size of your fingers and mouth.)

Now that your fingers are in place, be very clear on these two matters of form:

a) Your fingernails should be angled inwards, towards the center of the tongue, and not pointed straight in and towards the back of your mouth; and b) your fingers should pull the lower lip fairly taut.

3. Draw back the tongue
Now comes the crucial part of the whistle. The tongue must be drawn back so that its front tip almost touches the bottom of the mouth a short distance behind the lower gums (about 1/2 inch/1 cm). This action also broadens and flattens the front edge of the tongue, allowing it to cover a wider portion of the lower back teeth.

The sound is produced by air flowing over a bevel, or a sharply angled edge. In this case, the sound is created by the upper teeth and tongue directing air onto the lower lip and teeth.

4. Blow
Inhale deeply, and exhale over the top side of the tongue and lower lip, and out of your mouth. Some extra downward and outward pressure by the fingers onto the lips and teeth may be helpful. Experiment with the position of the fingers, the draw of the tongue, the angle of the jaw, and the strength of your exhalation. Adjusting with these will bring success.

Start off with a fairly gentle blow. You'll produce a whistle of lower volume at first, but you'll also have more breath to practice with if you don't spend it all in the first three seconds. As you blow, adjust your fingers, tongue and jaws to find the bevel's sweet spot. This is the area of maximum efficiency, where the air is blown directly over the sharpest part of the bevel. Once you locate the sweet spot, your whistle will have a strong, clear tone, as opposed to a breathy, low-volume sound.

Listen for these sounds: as you practice, your mouth will learn to focus the air onto the bevel's sweet spot with increasing accuracy. You'll probably hear the following: a breathy, low-volume tone that suddenly, as you adjust your fingers, mouth, or jaw, will switch to a clear, full, high-volume tone. Success! You're on the right track--your task now is to reproduce the mouth and hand position that led to the better whistle

Colour Perception Thing

2005-08-03T09:54:00.000Z

Confuse your brain with this:

Its green, no its pink

The Calling Shotgun Guide

2005-08-02T14:24:00.000Z

To iron out those squabbles for the front seat.

Shotgun!

How to become a ninja

2005-08-02T13:53:00.000Z

Does what it says on the tin. Become a killer in 7 easy steps.

Wax on, wax off

Chris Cunningham - interview

2005-08-02T08:41:00.000Z

Pitchfork interview Chris Cunningham and ask him about all sorts of shite.

Window Arse Licker

Yoda dog outfit

2005-08-02T08:30:00.000Z

Includes headpiece and jumpsuit with attached arms. Wow.

Use the force

Bouncy balls

2005-08-01T10:41:00.000Z

Ten thousand bouncy balls rolling down a San Francisco hill-street

Pretty cool

Commercial

2005-08-01T08:46:00.000Z

New Adidas football ad...

Whatever

oh, and here is the old Brazilian Nike one here

Galvanize

2005-07-29T14:29:00.000Z

Chemical Brother's game on their website. Madness.

Woot

Vampire Killing Kit

2005-07-26T15:24:00.000Z

"WE HAVE ALL BEEN TOLD THAT VAMPIRES ARE JUST MYTHS FROM HISTORY, AND THAT STORIES HAVE BEEN MADE UP THROUGH THE YEARS JUST TO SCARE US OR SELL MOVIES.

WELL IF THIS IS TRUE THEN WHY DO SO MANY COUNTRIES HAVE SO MANY BELIEFS ABOUT THESE MYSTERY FIGURES."

ebay

Best Porn Movie Title?

2005-07-25T09:04:00.000Z

Twisted porn.

Yummy.

(from b3ta)

FIFA is FUCKED

2005-07-22T13:28:00.000Z

Latest FIFA rankings:

1 Brazil
2 Argentina
3 Netherlands
4 Czech Republic
5 Mexico
6 USA
7 France
8 England
8 Spain
10 Portugal

USA at 6th? Do me a favour. And what about this new offside rule? Have a word Sepp.

Backstroke of the west

2005-07-22T11:50:00.000Z

Some very mixed up Star Wars subtitles for a Chinese bootleg

Star Wars

Ferrari

2005-07-22T08:05:00.000Z

(from monkeyfilter)

Aston Villa in shock 14-0 victory

2005-07-22T08:00:00.000Z

It was against some Swedish part timers but that shouldn't stop the celebrations!

Holy mother of god

"Life is a finger buffet - eat all you can"

2005-07-21T15:09:00.000Z

"What would you do if you were twenty-five, unemployed, still living with your parents and had absolutely nothing to move on to in life? Nick Copeman's answer was to change his name by deed poll to HM King Nicholas and found an empire from his royal seat - a caravan just outside Sheringham, Norfolk."

Kinger

Seattle man dies after sex with horse

2005-07-20T08:37:00.000Z

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

Sick

Films with the most uses of the word 'fuck'

2005-07-19T15:03:00.000Z

Holy jesus!

1 Nil by Mouth (470) (128 minutes: 3.67 fucks/min)
2 Casino (422) (178 minutes: 2.37 fucks/min)
3 Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (347) (113 minutes: 3.07 fucks/min)
4 Summer of Sam (326) (142 minutes: 2.29 fucks/min)
5 Twin Town (320) (99 minutes: 3.23 fucks/min)
6 Ken Loach's Sweet Sixteen (313) (106 minutes: 2.95 fucks/min)
7 Narc (298) (105 minutes: 2.83 fucks/min)
8 The Big Lebowski (281) (117 minutes: 2.4 fucks/min)
9 Tigerland (276) (100 minutes: 2.76 fucks/min)
10 (tie) Fubar (274) (76 minutes: 3.60 fucks/min) / Made (274) (94 minutes: 2.91 fucks/min)

Fucking Hell

(from wikipedia)

Music

2005-07-18T14:49:00.000Z

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!

Rip and Burn.

Oh, its my 9 year old brother Joe's birthday today.

Piss Goal

2005-07-18T08:30:00.000Z

Use your stream to score goals. Ridiculous.

Back of the net

CORNDOG RALLYE 2005 - A ONCE IN A LIFETIME INVITATION.

2005-07-15T12:56:00.000Z

The following press release was written by Ben Salsbury, Chief Exec of the Corndog Association (CA):

HELLO fellow Corndoggers,

This email is an official invitation to take part in a once in a lifetime
road race from Bournemouth (Charminster Road,) to Woolacombe Bay ( Little Roadway Farm Camp Site.)

The winner of this fantastic rallye will indeed receive a prize to treasure
and put above your fire place!

So the Corndog Rallye?

Those taking part will be put into pairs, one driver one navigator. I will
decide pairs, these will eb a sensible combination, there is NO DEBATE. The
pair will race from Bournemouth to Woolacombe completing a number of
exercises on route in the quickets time possible. To ensure the race is
fair, each team will be provided with an identical hire car, hopefully this
will be a smart car, if not another fantastic super fast sports car!

The date for this race will take place on Friday the 19th August 2005. The
race start time: 12:00 hours. The exercises and tasks will be set by myself
and it is up to you the order in which you complete them, however
photgraphic evidence is required at each stage. Failure to do so will result
in instant disqualification.

Once the race has finished we can then all relax for the rest of the weekend
in Little Roadway Farm Camp Site Woolacombe Bay. Drink beer, swim, surf and sleep. Certainly no shagging!

The prices:

Car hire for three days: £11.95 - each driver of the vehicle needs a
cleanish! licence and pay a £150 depsit, refundable upon return. Maximum
milage over three days is 450 miles, and excess is £500. For every
additional week day, the charge will be £27.50.

Campsite cost is £8 per two man ten/per night.

Those wishing to stay longer than the weekend through to the next week are
welcome to do so.

So please accept my invitation to enter the CORNDOG RALLYE 2005, entry is
only £1.00 per person.

Please reply to this email to confirm acceptance. Should I not here from you
within seven days I will asume that you intend not to enter.

Thankyou for your time and thankyou for using MSN HOTMAIL. Never touch
another man's teabag.!

WOOT!!!

Spot the Scotsman

2005-07-14T10:49:00.000Z

This funny vid is from Soccer AM. Watch it you'll like it:

Didn't spill a drop

graffiti stencils

2005-07-14T09:59:00.000Z

this site has got some great stencils on it:

st. encil the patron saint of slackheads

firework wars

2005-07-14T09:56:00.000Z

Well, whatever. Some guys firing fireworks at each other.

http://www.fireworkswar.com/videos.htm

the rebirth

2005-07-13T12:52:00.000Z

so new blog, new design and shit.

ooh, and a comments thing....currently just waiting for my mate luke to sort out the gallery and then we'll be flying again. after my fubar moment a couple of months ago regarding certain privacy issues lessons have been learned so expect to see lots of "anon did this"...

gig posters

2005-07-13T10:13:00.000Z

great resource for making stencils

gigposters

good arkanoid

2005-07-12T13:13:00.000Z

a good arkanoid game - lets you design your own levels too:

http://jonah.bigidea.com/html/arcade/moby_blaster/moby_blaster.dcr

the crap blog is back

2005-07-12T09:09:00.000Z

because i keep emailing people absolute shite, i've decided just to put it here again.

weird phobias:

Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Kynophobia- Fear of rabies.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.

my favourite:
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.